Your Intuitive Body vs. The Saboteur Archetype

by Lisa on November 4, 2011

Your Intuitive Body vs. The Saboteur ArchetypeOh the little battles we wage within… the daily conflicts that can sweep in and disrupt the best of intentions. I love and believe in daily ritualized self-care, I practice it and preach it ad nauseum. And yet there are times when it wants to fall apart.

Here’s a simple example. I very much want to be at yoga class 3 times a week. I know what when I am there I’m able to embody sacred space inside and out. I am soothed by the exotic music, the darkened room, the voice of my teacher. I am comforted by my body’s ability to stretch itself and come into quiet and stillness and strength.. where all the cerebral chattering ceases. Muscles warm and lengthen, breathing deepens and slows, the sensual pleasure of stretching and moving in grace..it’s all good, even when it’s a challenge.

And yet… I have to admit that pretty much every time it’s “time” to change my clothes and get out to the car to drive the 20 minutes it takes to reach the yoga studio, I balk. And more often than I’d like, I know exactly how to talk myself out of going to class.

What the hell is going on here? I really and truly love those classes, for all the reasons I’ve named, so why on earth is it so hard to get out of my own way? Here’s my answer and it’s the same thing I tell my clients, when they too are bemoaning this aspect of themselves that wants to sabotage something good.

It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter why. Who cares? As a therapist I was trained in the “why” and the “how” and all of that reasoning and fancy explanation for years and years but truthfully it doesn’t matter all that much. Don’t get stuck there. What matters is coming into this tiny moment, and of finding a way to shift, gently but firmly, back to center. There are various way to do this, but usually you’ll need to find your own calling.

Yesterday, I was feeling pretty raw and ragged… rough around the edges, definitely vulnerable to the pulls of the Saboteur archetype within. I knew it and knew that I needed a bigger-than-usual-dose of daily love. I made it out the door at 730 a.m. for my weekly visit to Tom Tam, the Chinese acupuncturist and healer whom I adore. Check. The afternoon was booked with clients. I fully planned to get to the 4 pm yoga class that I had continued to miss for weeks. And of course I felt the pull not to go… again. I got in the car and went.

The minute I entered the studio I felt better.. peaceful, quiet. I stretched out for several minutes prior to class, so grateful for the sanctuary. At some point in the class, the teacher reminded us to be thankful for the part of ourselves that instinctively had chosen to lean towards wellness and brought us to class. I loved that.

How good to remember that part of ourselves. The part of our Intuitive Body that can guide us towards what is wholesome and good. Your intuitive wisdom that knows exactly what you need and how to sidestep the other energies pulling at you. It’s so comforting to know that this part lives inside of you, that it’s there rooting for you. It’s a moment by moment process..finding your way back again and again to what feels best. And blessing that part of yourself, strengthening it with your attention and love. So good…always.

With great love from my heart to yours-

Lisa

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Janet November 6, 2011 at 1:42 pm

I just read your recent newsletter about how you have been ditching your yoga class. Like you, I am a great Myss fan. People either love her or hate her. I think she is such a clear communicator and it is really refreshing. On her recent online seminar “Health and healing” she states that addictions are a way to slow down time or block guidance. I am a sugar addict. Mind you, I am not overweight, but go to sugar when I am stressed or mindless in some way. I don’t feel good after and then spend some time beating myself up about it. So I thought on Caroline’s words and started pulling myself into my body whenever I felt the urge to grab a sweet. When I usually go for something sweet, I am somehow not present in my body. So grounding myself, a few deep breaths etc gets me to feel whatever it is I am trying to bury under the “sweetness.” It has been working for me. I also have some help from a wonderful friend who is an EFT practitioner. Your yoga practice makes you present and it feels much better to be present than to fly out of the body and engage in mindless things that are usually not for our highest and best. That is how I battle self-sabatoge.

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admin November 6, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Hi Janet- Like you, I greatly admire Caroline Myss and her work. I will be writing more about her perspective on addictions after attending her stunning workshop late August on this, and just wrote a blogpost on slowing time via our addictive strategies a couple of weeks ago, you can see it here . I appreciate your sharing the ways you ground… intuitively I always knew that weight and eating were ways those of us who are sensitive or empathic use to try to get back in our bodies. Yoga is an amazing way to help heal our nervous systems and to practice getting out of our heads and back into our bodies. Thank you for weighing in and sharing all of this… we’re all more alike than different. Love and appreciation.. Lisa

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lisa turner November 7, 2011 at 10:57 am

Such a wonderful, insightful piece…and just what I needed to hear today! I loved the “it doesn’t matter why” piece; it really doesn’t, does it? We get so stuck in trying to figure everything out; but that, of course, keeps us even more tethered to our minds—and out of our bodies. Thank you for the reminder ~

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admin November 8, 2011 at 7:46 am

Hi Lisa, thank you so much for this. It’s true that after a certain point the “why” isn’t that helpful… better to come back to present-time, and assess what can be shifted from that place. Hard not to look back or rely on our intellects, but the big changes happen from a different place I believe. I am a big fan of your writing and your gorgeous recipes, we have so much in common. Hope everyone checks out your beautiful work on as well as on Facebook. Thank you again for your lovely comments. Love to you, LIsa

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Patty November 8, 2011 at 9:36 pm

I think you have been reading my journal. Yoga is my yin and yang – I ADORE being there, and many times, and drawn to tears over the feeling of peace, calm, treasure, blessings simply for having had 75 minutes to BE. However, as you mentioned, I look at my Monday nights (yoga is only available Mon/Wed eves here) and think “how am I going to work that in?” or when it’s 6 PM and I think “I’ll never make it in time so forget it”. What GIVES? for pete’s sake. I hear you. I still struggle with “choice” over “force” – even though I know it is a gentle mind-flip that is required – making the CHOICE to attend the class, to do what I know my body craves, to be surrounded by music and warmth and healing and stretching and supportive encouragement. When it becomes something I “should” do, it goes down the tubes. Not unlike a diet. Crazy stuff. Be good to you. Thanks for being good to us. With love, Patty

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admin November 9, 2011 at 8:04 am

HI Patty! Thanks for reading and your lovely comment.. and yes, I HAVE been reading your journal. Love that you HAVE a journal, writing is such an amazing way to move energy and come back to clarity. And of course yoga… Glad to know I”m not alone at that end of the day place when leaving the house seems like such a chore despite the beauty that awaits me in class. I go on Monday nights too.. now I will think of you and we can allow the healthy well parts of us to lean into the light. Love to you, Lisa

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