We love lofty.
We love big huge plans of self-sacrifice and sweeping changes. We love thinking of all of this and writing it down- we get an instant hit of relief when we plan ways that we are going to master our ways of eating or binging. Remember when you used to feel better just from watching Jane Fonda videos… from the couch? Planning is like that. We get the relief from the thinking about it and making charts and graphs and lists and feel better, without having to DO a thing.
Which as most of us have discovered does not work. It just gets our overanalytic thinking perfectionism cranked up until it paralyzes us.
As I’ve said before, you want to be the tortoise, not the hare. Remember that story? You cannot be the Hare. Being the Hare leads to major problems and backlash.
Taking action, as in very tiny small manageable steps is where the good stuff happens. (And where every single client fights me, wanting big gigantic glorious plans…but this is all part of the unfolding as it were).
So… what I really recommend is that you get clear on a couple of Daily Essentials (like vitamins but better) of ways to take care of yourself. It could be a commitment to eat 3 meals. It could be to include vegetables at lunch and dinner. It could be to be in bed by 10 pm. It could be to be a good mother to your children. It might have to do with physical activity. Or prayer. Or gratitude lists and journaling.
The main point is that you choose things that are the bare minimum of things you will do to care for yourself, every single day, no matter what.
The “no matter what” will irritate you, if you’re like me. You may already be talking back to me about this and making “what if” lists of things that could happen that would keep you from your bare minimum commitment. Stop. Take a breath.
And think very very carefully of what matters to you. This is NOT about rules or authority. It’ a decision to take care of yourself on a very basic level in ways that are meaningful to you.
Chew on these ideas for a few days. It’s not a good idea to impulsively decide right now. Really think through what you want for yourself, what you value, what you need, and what you can actually commit to. Do not judge yourself if it’s “not much” right now. But pick something and make it a practice.
Learning to keep promises to yourself is essential. Living the life that has value for you is a big deal. Letting yourself have the pleasure of these experiences and the grounded sanity that comes with them is a blessing.
I want that for you.
Love and xox,