Being Overweight and The Fear of Being Truly Seen

by Lisa on May 16, 2012

Being Overweight and The Fear of Being Truly SeenOne of my very favorite clients came back to do a focused piece of work with me recently. She came to see me when she was very young, in her early 20’s and happily for me she comes back now and then.

Because she no longer lives locally, when we meet now, it is via Skype.. still a great medium, lots of connection and lots of face to face connection. This girl has a face I dearly love. To be honest, I find her very beautiful. That is what I see when I look at her, pure beauty. She is truly radiant.

But boy is that not what SHE sees when she reflects on her image in the mirror or anywhere else. She sees weight, she sees an overweight girl that doesn’t belong. That always has to apologize for taking up space. A young woman that is different and is therefore undeserving.

Being seen for her is a very mixed bag. She fears that all people see when they look at her is the extra weight.. and her shame at not being able to make it different. Being seen feels like being judged. Being seen is being made vulnerable to all of the ways in which she feels not-good-enough and so she’s absolutely sure that others see the same, in excruciating detail.

And yet she, and all of us, crave being seen. For who we truly are. For the beauty and brightness that lives inside of us when we feel safe enough and loved enough and at ease enough in our own skin to shine that out-wards. When our hearts light up enough that all of the exquisite pieces of our selves come pouring out.

We all know that moment, when we are with somebody who is being so much themselves, with such ease and happiness, that they are a pleasure to be with. We want to be close to their bright light. We don’t give a damn about what size jeans they wear, or how fashionable they are, or if they have perfect hair. We just love the feel of them. It’s visceral… energetic.

Life loves life.

I adore embodiment. I know it when I feel it and when I see it. When you become so much yourself, are so present in the ways that are exactly yours and allow yourself to be fully seen, even in your vulnerability.. oh how I love you (and me) in those moments.

One of my favorite and in some ways most urgent things that I try to impart to my clients, is the joy of becoming fully embodied. In their unique imperfect bodies. To channel the sparkle and the pleasure and the ways that they know how to move love and light and life through their words and laughs and movements and eyes and all of it…Helping them find that beauty that is all theirs.. and letting it barrel out in whatever way feels just-right. To be seen, to take up some space.

Because one thing I know for sure (sorry Oprah) is that when people magnetize other people in friendships or as lovers or even in the checkout line at the supermarket.. it is not because they live in perfect bodies (usually). It is because they are drawing in the other with their true hearts and special blend of something and because that special something is coming from a true true place. It’s irresistible when you become who you are. When you learn to live in that very body. Laugh that unique laugh. Speak those unique thoughts and opinions. Feel and experience yourself and others in real and unmasked ways.

My gift is that I can always see the beauty of my gorgeous clients. And if I can see them, I can help them see themselves and learn to come back to their bodies and live there in ways that are sensual and fun and peaceful and right.

With love from my heart to yours..

 

 

PS.. If you want me to help you come out of hiding, step into that beautiful place of embodiment, we can absolutely do that.. It’s easy. Just contact me to set up an Illumination Round.. a 20-minute phone consult where you and I will see if you are a good fit for this work and I will give you some immediate feedback that will be immediately useful. Just email me at Lisa at IntuitiveBody dot com and we’ll set it up.